


Not Tonight, Come Tomorrow, When Everything’s Sunny and Bright

by IvyYara



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Roommates, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyYara/pseuds/IvyYara
Summary: John moved in with Roger not long ago. When Roger turns out to be having nightmares multiple times a week, John can't help but comfort him. Problem is Roger can't sleep without John anymore which makes having a crush on Roger that much harder.
Relationships: John Deacon/Roger Taylor
Comments: 24
Kudos: 91





	Not Tonight, Come Tomorrow, When Everything’s Sunny and Bright

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! Here's a little something for you all. Hope you'll enjoy!  
> Also a big thanks to emma_and_orlando for her encouragements to keep writing this. I don't think I would have finished it without her.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! It's very much appreciated.

Moving in with your best friend always seems like a good idea at the time. John had thought so when Roger suggested he’d move in with him, they could split the cost and he had a much bigger flat than John’s. His own flat was small and mediocre at best, the shower hardly produced hot water long enough for him to shower normally and the rent was not cheap at all.

Roger was his best friend, there weren’t any reasons not to move in with him, right? Well maybe just one, which wasn’t _that_ important. Lots of people had a crush on their best friend, right? But maybe a crush that had already lasted over a year could have been the reason why this hadn’t been a good idea.

John worried many times over the fact that Roger might be on to him; he was sure he had seen Roger smiling and staring at him, or maybe that was just his imagination. Roger wasn’t dumb, he must have seen John’s blushes and lingering stares while they were out at the pub, wishing he was the object of Roger’s affection, not some stranger who didn’t deserve him. One could dream.

But recently he had something else to worry about; which he hadn’t calculated but made his life and possibly his crush even more inconvenient.

***

John woke up with a startle, sitting upright in bed. His heart beating rapidly in his chest. It took him a moment catch his breath, wondering if he had dreamed it. He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand. There was another scream and he was out of bed right away. It was Roger, was there anyone in their home? They lived on the third floor, it wasn’t likely someone would try and break in, getting away would be much harder. Despite keeping that in mind, he opened his door a crack and peeked into the hallway. When he didn’t see anything, he stepped out, his heart still going a hundred miles an hour. He stopped, another scream.

Without another thought he all but ran to Roger’s room. It was only a few steps, but the screaming got louder, and John was getting really scared. Roger’s door was closed, and John didn’t think it was appropriate to just burst through the door. The screaming subsided, reduces to quiet whines and… sobbing? John didn’t know what was going on. He softly knocked on the door.

“Rog?” He asked voice barely above a whisper. He waited for a moment.

No answer.

He stood there for a moment contemplating if he should go inside. Wasn’t that weird? Just entering your flatmates room. What if Roger woke up? He would think John was crazy. But it sounded like something was wrong, what if Roger was hurt? The whimpers in the room slowly faded and John’s heartbeat slowly went back to normal. He pressed his ear against the door, hoping he could hear better. When he heard soft snoring he sighed in relief, Roger seemed to be sleeping. It must have been a nightmare.

It was the first time John had ever heard someone scream so loud in their sleep. He lingered there a little longer until he was sure everything was peaceful again. He rubbed his eyes, he felt wide awake. Might as well get a cup of tea now that he was up. Making his way to the kitchen he saw that it was five in the morning. This was going to be a tough day.

***

“John… hey John? Are you listening?”

“What?” John startled; he had been dozing off on the sofa the moment he got back from uni. He blinked and looked up to see Roger standing in front of him, hands on his hips. He had been talking to him in excitement about the new song he wrote, and John hadn’t been listening because he was so tired.

“Were you sleeping?” Roger asked with a smirk.

John yawned loudly and without shame. “No.”

Roger barked out a laugh and looked at him in disbelief. “Uhuh… what was I saying then?”

“Something- something- new song, it will be a hit- something?” He paused looking at Roger with an embarrassed smile and a blush on his cheeks. “Sorry…”

Roger smirked and sat down next to John on the sofa next to him and patted his knee. “No, that’s okay, what’s gotten you so tired mate?”

 _You_. “I don’t really know.” He lied. “Didn’t sleep so well last night.” Technically that part wasn’t a lie. He glanced at Roger and hesitated before saying. “I think I had a nightmare.”

“Did you?” Roger asked tilting his head. “I used to have a lot of nightmares for some time and I could hardly because of them, but just like that they went away.”

John raised his eyebrows. _Well they definitely came back._

So, Roger was having a nightmare last night, but he didn’t remember them, or the fact that he was screaming like someone was about to kill him. Should he tell Roger that he had heard him scream last night? He seemed convinced he didn’t have any nightmares anymore. Maybe he should just keep him in the illusion that everything was still fine.

“Oh? Why do you think you had them in the first place?”

Roger shrugged. “The first time I had them was when me, my mom and Clare moved away from dad. It was a tough time and I was scared a lot. It was a new house and my room was cold and the house creaked and squeaked when there was a lot of wind. I hated the dark and my room was at the top floor. It was scary at that time and I developed nightmares.” He explained. “Then when I moved away from home and went to college they started again. I guess they came back because of stress or when I was nervous.”

John nodded as he listened to Roger. He used to have nightmares when he was younger. Around the time his father had died, they were especially bad and more than once he had stood at the end of his mother’s bed, asking if he could sleep in her bed. He could imagine the uncertainty Roger must have felt when they had to move to a new place. That didn’t explain why he was having nightmares now though. Granted it only happened this one time, but the sound of Roger screaming was something John found hard to shake.

“They went away though.” Roger said with a bright smile as he seemingly noticed John’s worried look. 

“Good.” _Hopefully they will stay away._

***

The next night John went to bed and even though he knew he shouldn’t worry, he still did. It could be just a one-time thing, and worrying wouldn’t help him, Roger didn’t even remember. But naturally he worried whenever something happened that involved Roger. 

He was wrong, the second time that week he woke up with shock, sitting upright in bed once again, his heart pounding in his chest. Roger’s scream went through his core, and his heart felt like a clump of ice in his chest. This time he didn’t hesitate, he jumped out of bed and without turning on the light he hastily made his way down the hall to Roger’s room. Roger’s screams were sounding a lot more desperate than the night before. It was as though he was in pain and John couldn’t stand the thought of that. He didn’t want Roger to hurt even if it was in his dreams.

Without thinking twice, he slowly opened the door, carefully to not make too much noise, he didn’t want Roger to suddenly wake up to see John standing there and get a heart attack or something. It was dark inside the room, the only light source coming from the moonlight coming through the curtains. He jumped when Roger screamed again, deep down he wondered what he was dreaming about. His heart was thumping in chest as he stepped inside.

When John got closer to Roger’s bed, he could see Roger’s face; a deep frown on his forehead and fists tightly holding his sheets. He was mumbling something incoherent which John couldn’t make the slightest sense off. It sounded like he was scared. Now that he was actually inside, he didn’t know what to do next. Was it bad to wake some up who was having a bad dream? Or was that only with sleep walking? He didn’t want to do something that would hurt Roger, but he didn’t think this was helping either.

Roger let out another high pitched scream and that made up John’s mind. He was at Roger’s side right away and hesitantly placed his hand on Roger’s shoulder, it felt clammy with sweat.

“Hey, Rog…” He whispered, the sound of his voice seemed to have a little effect, the frown on Roger’s face smoothed out a little. Very gently he shook Roger, keeping his voice soft. “Roger?”

Roger was whimpering softly by now, his eyelids started fluttering ever so slightly. It looked like he was getting closer to close to waking up.

“Rog, wake up, you are having a nightmare.”

Another soft whimper passed Roger’s lips and John felt almost a little powerless, seeing Roger like this. It hurt his heart and it made him want to run his hand through Roger’s hair and tell him it was all going to be okay.

Once again, he gently shook him, hoping he’d finally wake up. “Please Roger.”

For a moment Roger’s breathing calmed down, and the mumbling stopped. His features smoothed out and all the tenseness was gone. John let out a relieved breath, but then startled when wide blue eyes opened and stared right back at him in shock.

He was quiet for a moment, looking around him and blinking heavily. Then he stared back again. “John?” Roger asked, his voice high pitched and a little out of breath. “What are you doing here?”

For a moment John thought that this had been a mistake, he should have stayed in bed and shouldn’t have intervened. But, how could he? He straightened a little, pulling his hand back from where it was still resting against Roger’s shoulder. “…you, uhm, you were screaming.” He started explaining. “It woke me up and I thought that maybe something was wrong— are you okay?”

Roger let out a shaky sigh and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I— I think I had a nightmare.”

“It sounded like it, is there anything I can get you?” John asked still a bit weary, but Roger didn’t seem to mind him being in his room in the middle of the night. “Like a glass of water or something?”

Roger’s breathing seemed to be back to normal and he turned on his light. In the faint light John could see that most of the colour was drained from his face. He was still looking at John with wide eyes, probably from the scare.

“Yes please.” Roger said with a nod and he pushed himself up to sit up against the headboard. “Water would be really great right now.”

“Be right back.” John said and quickly went to the kitchen, he ran the tap to make sure it was cold and grabbed a glass from the kitchen cupboard. He filled it and returned to Roger’s room a moment later, handing him the glass.

“Thanks.” Roger said before gulping down the water as if he hadn’t had anything to drink in days.

“You should probably drink…” John started raising an eyebrow.

But it was no use, Roger gulped down the water before he could finish his sentence.

“…Slowly.”

Roger gave him a small smile and put the glass on his nightstand. “Whoops.”

John shook his head. “Do you want more?”

“No thanks, this was good. Thank you, John.” Roger said softly.

It looked like he was blushing, or maybe that was because of the light? John couldn’t really say for sure. He stood there for a moment, awkwardly fiddling with his own fingers not really sure what to do now. “…okay, well, I should probably get back to my own room.” He said, pointing over his shoulder, looking up at Roger again with a nervous smile. “Will you be alright?”

Roger didn’t answer him and looked down at his own hands, playing with his sheets. He seemed to be thinking about something.

“Rog?”

Roger looked up at him. “Don’t go?” he asked, his voice sounding small.

The expression in Roger’s eyes changed, he seemed afraid again. John hated seeing him like this, but he wasn’t sure he understood. “What?”

Roger averted his eyes again, not daring to look at John. He started talking very quickly, as if he wanted to try and get it out all at once. “Can you… will you stay here for a bit? Only for a little while, I don’t think I want to be alone right now.”

“…oh.” Was all John could say. He had not expected that.

Roger looked up at him, now definitely blushing, probably from embarrassment. “…It’s okay if you don’t want to, I understand.” He stammered. “It’s stupid— I shouldn’t have asked, I’ll be fine, have a good night John.”

He turned off his light again and hid his face under the covers, not caring that John was still in the room. John stood there for a moment, looking at the small figure under the covers. He could see Roger had curled in on himself, he looked so little. Again, he felt the sharp stab in his heart, and he walked to the other side of the bed without thinking about it. He turned down the covers and slipped in soundlessly and laid down, trying to avoid touching Roger. 

Without a word, Roger turned around and curled himself up against him. John held his breath for a moment when Roger hid his face against his chest and wrapped an arm around him. He let it out when Roger spoke again, his voice muffled against John’s sleep shirt.

“Thank you.”

John let out a breath and tried to relax. “Don’t mention it.”

Being in Roger’s bed was strange to say the least, he had been there before, but mostly just to hang out a little or when they were talking. Not like this, in the same bed with Roger this close. John could smell his shampoo, a soft lavender scent. He wondered how long it would take for himself to fall asleep again; he felt a little tense. Roger didn’t seem to notice, his breathing had already started evening out and before John knew it, he was sleeping again. This time a peaceful sleep.

***

John woke up the next morning with something tickling his face. He tried to turn around but felt he couldn’t. He stilled when he thought about what happened the night before. The events coming back to him, remembering the way Roger had screamed. He opened his eyes to see Roger still plastered against him. He had an iron grip on John’s waist. He was warm and his breathing was calm, warm puffs tickled John’s neck.

Now that the warm morning light lightened the room, John could see Roger’s face, still in deep sleep. He always knew his friend was beautiful, but never before had he noticed how long his eyelashes were. They splayed against his soft skin. He could see all the little freckles that were normally not visible to the plain eye. His blond locks were messy and sticking out in several places. John felt himself smile as he watched his friend. Roger really was for a lack of a better word angelic.

John didn’t dare to move, worried he would wake up Roger, who already had a rough night. Despite not being in his own bed he slept surprisingly well. He did feel the need to stretch his back which was killing him from being in the same position the whole night. He tried to wiggle a little and change his position, but that caused Roger to mumble softly, smacking his lips. His eyelids started to flutter, and he inhaled through his nose, indicating he was starting to wake up.

Not sure of what to do, John stayed where he was and watched Roger slowly wake up. He blinked a few times before finally focussing his eyes on John. A small smile touched his lips and John found himself mesmerized with Roger’s sleepy eyes.

“Morning.” Roger mumbled.

He still didn’t detangle himself from John, which he was sure was because off Roger’s sleepy state. It didn’t mean anything, he kept telling himself. 

“Good morning.”

“You’re still here.”

“…Uhm, yeah. I fell asleep.” John said quickly, wondering if he overstayed his welcome.

Roger must have seen the nervous expression on his face, because he smiled a little more. “Thank you for staying John, I really appreciate it.”

“…Oh.” John said with an awkward laugh. “No problem.”

They were quiet for a moment and John wondered what to do. He didn’t want to be rude or say something awkward. He wasn’t good in these sorts of situations, unlike Roger. 

Roger seemed to notice he was still holding on to John. His cheeks flushed and he quickly put some distance between them. “Sorry.”

John shook his head; he could feel his own face heat up. “Oh no, that’s okay. I don’t mind— I mean— I should probably get up; I have class in an hour and I still need to take a shower and make breakfast—” He stopped talking because he realised, he was rambling.

Roger was grinning at him, knowing how awkward John could get, why couldn’t he ever just be chill. “Okay, guess that means you want to shower first?”

John rolled his eyes and then took a deep breath. He still didn’t move yet. Roger’s bed was really comfortable, much softer than his own, the bedding felt fluffier too. He really didn’t want to get up and go to class. He just wanted stay here, preferably with Roger and sleep the whole day.

“John?”

“Yeah?” John looked up again, realising he was getting side-tracked again.

Roger giggled and pushed himself up on his elbow. “Did you want to use the shower first? Or are you gonna let me use up all the hot water?”

“Hell no!” John said shaking his head, sighing as he finally moved to get up. Shivering because of the loss of comfort and warmth of Roger’s bed. “You take forever in the shower, what do you even do in there? I never met a bloke who takes such long showers.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Roger said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

John eyes widened and he felt his face heat up again. “Oh god never mind; I don’t need to know.” 

“You asked!?” Roger laughed and winked at him. Making John roll his eyes again as he stretched his back. Feeling sore from being in the same position the whole night. When he was at the door, he turned to Roger again. “See you later then.” 

Roger nodded; he was now sitting at the edge of the bed. “Thank you again John.”

“Don’t mention it.” He said again with an assuring smile and then left to take a shower. He didn’t notice the sigh Roger let out once he closed the door behind him.

***

After a long day off classes and finishing an assignment in the library, John felt exhausted. He and Roger ate dinner on the sofa in front of the telly, but he wasn’t able to focus on what Roger had picked to watch. He felt himself doze off, startling every time he woke before finally getting up as he fell asleep on Roger’s shoulder; who strangely didn’t even wake him up.

When he finally went to bed later that night, he couldn’t keep his eyes open even if he tried. He was out like a light. But his sleep not restless, he had dreams that night, all about soft blond hair tickling his nose, blue eyes that shined brightly. Raspy giggles and bright smiles. 

Far away he could hear a voice calling him, but he didn’t have the strength or desire to wake up yet. He was having such good dreams. He groaned softly when he felt someone shake him. “Mmm.” He whined, trying to shake them off. “Wanna sleep.”

They shook him again, but he couldn’t open his eyes.

“John?”

He heard the voice and then his brain seemed to catch up with him. It was familiar. The voice he had been dreaming about.

“John? Are you awake?”

“Huh?” He grumbled sounding sleep drunk.

He looked up then, blinking a few times before his vision became clearer. Blond messy hair came into view, unsure blue eyes that looked down at him. “Rog? What it is?”

Roger was standing next to his bed, fiddling with the hem of his sleep shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Roger all but sobbed. “I had another nightmare and I couldn’t sleep— can I—” He stopped and looked at John’s bed.

“Are you okay?” John asking rubbing his eyes, without thinking about it he turned down his duvet on the other side of his bed; inviting Roger in.

Roger shook his head letting out another sob. He sighed in relief when John let him get in the bed, a small smile formed on his face. He crawled in from the end of the bed.

John turned towards him and pulled the covers over him. Tucking him in as best as he could. He wondered what Roger’s nightmares were about, but he wasn’t sure if he should ask. Roger laid on his side his back facing him. John laid down, not entirely sure what he should do to comfort him, or if Roger even wanted him to.

Before he could ask, he felt Roger’s hand searching for his own, he took it; hesitant at first but then more sure when he felt John didn’t pull his hand back. He wrapped John’s arm around him and pulled him closer, so that John was spooning him. John swallowed; this was more intimate than he ever had been with any of his friends. He wasn’t usually the touchy type, but Roger was quite the opposite, curling against him like a cat whenever they were watching a movie, or when John was reading a book on the sofa. He didn’t really know what personal space meant. He had come to learn that Roger wasn’t embarrassed about cuddling with his friends. Which in turn made it easier for John not to feel nervous about it.

“Better?”

Roger let out a shaky sigh. “Yeah. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.”

Roger didn’t say anything else, his body slowly relaxing against John’s own. He fell asleep moments after, but John couldn’t sleep anymore. He was wide awake, even though Roger’s soft breathing was comforting, it didn’t help him fall back to sleep. His mind kept wondering what had Roger so spooked. He never saw Roger so scared before; he didn’t think he had ever seen him scared of anything. It was very uncharacteristic, and it made John worry.

***

During the day Roger acted like everything was okay, despite the fact that he had woken up screaming every night for the past week; he didn’t seem tired or in a bad mood at all. Every time it happened; Roger had been standing at John’s bed. John didn’t refuse him. It was beginning to gnaw at him though, deep down he was beginning to doubt if he was only doing this for Roger’s sake, or that maybe he was also doing it for himself a little.

John couldn’t stop thinking about what caused the nightmares. But they didn’t speak about it and John was almost getting a little frustrated because of Roger’s good mood. Unlike Roger; John was tired, the nightmares and Roger’s nightly visits had an effect on his own night rest. The past two weeks John had woken up more than once with hair in his mouth, snoring in his ear or Roger holding on to him like a baby koala, even in his sleep he was stubborn. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the company of someone next to him in bed. 

It did made John feel guilty, because he was getting used to Roger in his bed, or him in Roger’s bed. He knew he shouldn’t get used to it; this was only temporary. Roger’s nightmares would pass, and things would go back to normal. But on the occasional night that Roger had a peaceful night without nightmares it made John miss him and he wasn’t able to sleep because of it.

Another night where Roger didn’t come to his room had John tossing and turning. After what seemed like an hour, he got up angry at himself. This was getting problematic. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and went to the kitchen. He ran the water until it was icy cold and filled a glass. Reminding himself to drink slowly; like he told Roger before. It didn’t help him to shake his thoughts.

“Hey.”

“Jesus!” John hissed and jumped, just avoiding bumping his head against the open cupboard. He turned around to see Roger standing there with sleepy eyes. The sleepy look was a winner, even then he looked beautiful and John just wanted to pull him into his arms.

“Sorry!” Roger said biting his bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

John’s heart rate slowly went back to normal. “I didn’t expect you is all— why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same?” Roger grinned.

“Touché.” John chuckled awkwardly.

Roger smiled with that half smile of his. “Don’t go using fancy words in the middle of the night now.”

John rolled his eyes and put away his glass with the rest of the dishes they didn’t clean up the night before.

“You weren’t in your bed, so I was worried something might be wrong?”

“Oh— I’m okay.” John lied. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

Roger seemed relieved. “That makes two of us.” He said and started fiddling with the hem of his shirt, which John recognized to be his. It warmed him from the inside seeing Roger standing there in his shirt. But he never noticed the nervous habit before. John hardly ever saw this side of Roger. “That’s why I was in your room actually, I— I’m sorry, I feel like such a loser, but— would it be okay if I slept in your bed again tonight? I had another nightmare and I just feel alone, I don’t think I can sleep without you…” 

John’s heart did a little flip. He cursed himself, he shouldn’t be happy about this. Roger having nightmares wasn’t a good thing but feeling wanted or needed by him made it very hard for John to say something about it. “You’re not a loser— don’t talk about yourself like that, you can sleep in my bed, if that makes you feel better.” He hesitated for a moment. “But maybe we should talk about the nightmares? I mean only if you want to— but maybe talking about it might help?”

Roger’s smile faded a little and he swallowed. “Yeah— maybe? But not now though, if you don’t mind, I don’t really want to relive that.”

“No, no that’s okay.” John said quickly. But at least that was progress, he wanted Roger’s nightmares to stop.

“Thank you.” Roger said giving him a grateful smile.

They turned down the lights in the kitchen and together they went back to John’s room. Roger already slipping in on ‘his side’ of the bed as if he had never known any differently. It squeezed John’s heart, seeing Roger cuddle up in his bed, nuzzling his cheek against the pillow. This wasn’t helping John’s crush, it only made it worse. He sighed to himself and slipped in next to him.

He turned on his side facing Roger, who was looking at him with a soft smile. What John didn’t expect was him reaching out and brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. His heart stopped for a moment and a tiny breath passed his lips.

“You’re a good friend John.” Roger whispered and he slowly shifted closer to him until he was cuddled up against him.

John automatically wrapped an arm around him. He was quiet for a moment, listening to Roger’s content sigh. 

“So are you.”

Roger hummed softly, pressing his face against his chest.

_He was so fucked._

***

They didn’t talk about it the next day. They didn’t talk about it the whole week. Roger didn’t come to John to talk to him about it and because of classes they hadn’t seen each other a lot. John also didn’t want to bring it up himself, if Roger wasn’t talking to him about it, then he obviously didn’t want to talk about it. For some reason John thought Roger was avoiding the topic on purpose. So, he didn’t want to press him and get into a useless argument. Roger was famous for having a temper, Freddie had warned him about it when he agreed to move in and while John hadn’t been on the receiving end of his moods a lot, he did experience it once or twice. When they had an argument, things got heated and certainly not in a good way, both being stubborn.

And so, they just went on with their routine, against the nagging feeling in John’s gut. Roger still stood by his bed every other night and every time John let him sleep in his bed. What else could he do? Roger never had nightmares when he was sleeping next to him, he seemed calm and his breathing was even. John watched him sleep a lot when he couldn’t sleep himself. It was hard not to watch him, but it made John feel worse about himself. As if he was taking advantage of the situation. Would Roger still have come to John if he knew about John’s crush? It made him feel uneasy and horrible about himself.

Roger would probably hate him if he knew and he probably wouldn’t want John to hold him or comfort him. But John couldn’t help it, he didn’t want to turn Roger away. Just thinking about it made his heart clench painfully. His dreams about Roger had only become stronger the last few weeks, and he felt himself staring at Roger more and more.

“John? Are you coming?”

“What?” John asked wondering why he was in the kitchen again.

Roger was sitting on the sofa, cuddled under a blanket. An impatient expression on his face. Even that expression what something John loved; it made his nose scrunch up in the most adorable way. “The movie is about to start! Did you get the snacks?”

He snapped out of his train of thoughts. Oh yeah that’s why he was there. _Come on John keep it together._ “Uhm—” He looked down at the empty bowl where popcorn was supposed to be. The bag unopened next to the microwave. “Yeah— almost done.” He lied before coughing loudly and putting the bag in the microwave trying to distract from the sound off the microwave turning on.

It didn’t work, Roger cocked one eyebrow up and sighed loudly. “You didn’t even start making the popcorn yet! You were on snack duty tonight John!”

“I just got distracted ‘s all, besides last week all you did was buy a bag of crisps and beer!” He called from the kitchen. “I’m doing this for you— I don’t even like popcorn that much.”

Roger smiled softly, making John’s heart doing another flip. “Aww, you’re so sweet John. But you love crisps, I even went to get the special ones you like, on the corner shop two blocks away.” He turned on the sofa, leaning his chin on the armrest, giving him his best pouty face. “You don’t appreciate my efforts.”

John squinted at him and grumbled as the microwave indicated it was ready. He carefully took out the bag, dumping the steamy popcorn in the bowl. “I always appreciate you!”

“Well bring my popcorn then!” Roger said with a cheeky smile.

John rolled his eyes and took a small bow. “Yes, your highness.”

Roger stuck out his tongue. “Well come on then? It’s movie time.”

It wasn’t like John was going to deny him anything at this point. He shook his head and sat down next to him on the sofa, placing the bowl between them, which Roger immediately took and placed in his own lap, smiling sweetly at John.

“I’m just your maid, aren’t I?”

Roger laughed and leaned against him. Draping the blanket over John as well. “My maid would not be sitting on the sofa with me.”

“I’m special then?” John said feeling his heart beating a little faster when Roger nuzzled his cheek against his side and pulling John’s arm around himself. His cologne invading John’s senses. 

Roger beamed up at him from beneath his lashes. “You are.”

They looked at each other for a moment and John couldn’t tear his eyes away. It wasn’t fair how pretty he was.

Roger nudged him softly. “Now watch the movie.”

John nodded and turned his attention to the screen, already knowing he wouldn’t see much of the movie.

***

A loud scream woke John out of his sleep. He had been having a nightmare himself, but Roger’s scream had him out of bed without a second thought. Roger was screaming loudly, much louder than he ever heard him scream. He quickly went to his room; it wasn’t even weird anymore.

Roger was tossing and turning in his bed. Whimpering. John had seen him like that before. It hurt him as much as it always did. But what he hadn’t seen before were tears. The screams had made place for soft sobbing. Tears were rolling down his face, into his hair.

“No... please…”

John frowned; he hadn’t heard Roger talk so clearly before. Most of the time it was just mumbling, nothing that audible. But now he was sobbing.

He looked so helpless, and John couldn’t take it. He climbed on Roger’s bed, and gently stroked his arm. “Rog, wake up, you’re having a nightmare again.”

Another sob. “Please… help me…”

“Roger.” John said shaking him bit harder, his voice still gentle but desperate to get Roger to wake up.

It worked, Roger’s eyes flew open, tears brimming in his eyes. The expression on his face was one of pure dread, John had never seen him like this before. Before he could do or say anything, the wind was knocked out of his for a moment.

“John!” Roger threw himself against John, arms wrapping around his neck holding on tightly and he started sobbing uncontrollably.

John had trouble breathing but wrapped his arms around Roger and softly caressed his back in soothing circles. He could feel his shirt getting wet by Roger’s tears. He was completely in shock for a short amount of time before he recollected his thoughts. “Roger, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Roger was still crying, and he buried his face in John’s neck. “You’re here.” He cried his voice muffled.

“I’m here, it’s okay.” John shushed, still stroking his back as he felt Roger tightening his hold on him as if John would disappear if he didn’t. “Tell me what’s going on?”

Roger shook his head and looked at John again. His expression was so pained, John couldn’t help but feel helpless. Roger hiccupped, his sobs getting worse again. “You were gone, and I didn’t know what to do, there was an accident— and you.” He said between sobs, his breath catching between every sentence. “I couldn’t get to you— you were—” He paused for a moment trying to swallow down his tears that were threatening to spill again, he locked eyes with John. “Don’t leave me? Please?”

It was as though John’s heart shattered in a thousand pieces, it made him want to cry himself. “Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” He gently untangled himself from Roger’s grip and let him lie down again.

Roger was shaking, but he nodded while he still silently sobbed. He held onto John as if he was still afraid, he could leave any moment now. A shaky breath escaped his lips when John laid down and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him against his chest.

“You left.” Roger said again, his voice still full of fear. 

“Shh, I’m here, it was a nightmare Rog, I’m not going to leave you.” He whispered, petting Roger’s hair, faintly registering how soft it was.

“You promise?” He asked his bottom lip trembling, his eyes wet and shining.

“I promise.”

Roger shook his head, looking up at John. His eyes were red from crying and his cheeks were tearstained. “It felt real John, so real— I was so scared, and I couldn’t help you, you left me alone, and I didn’t even have time to— I couldn’t even tell you—” He started, but cut himself off there, looking down avoiding John’s eyes.

“Tell me what?” John asked softly, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

“I—” Roger swallowed, his eyes scanning John’s face, his eyes flicking between John’s eyes and his lips.

John looked at him curiously, wondering what it was that Roger wanted to tell him. He could feel Roger shifting against him, his expression unsure. He hesitated for a moment, but then before John could even register, Roger closed the small distance between them and pressed his lips against John’s own.

A tiny surprised gasp escaped John’s lips when he felt Roger’s lips on his. He could still taste the salty tears on his lips. Roger kissed him hesitantly and almost shy. But that changed when John recovered from what was happening and kissed back slowly and ever so sweetly, cradling his jaw making Roger softly whimper against his lips. John wanted to etch the sweet sound of it in his brain forever.

One of Roger’s hands tangled in John’s shirt pulling him closer almost desperately, opening his mouth against John’s for him to deepen the kiss. He could feel the drum of Roger’s pulse against his thumb, and he was sure Roger could feel John’s increasing heartbeat against his chest. John’s head was spinning, and he never wanted it to end. They kissed languidly; it took his breath away. It felt like it went on for moments on end, and somehow it felt like it wasn’t long enough.

John reluctantly pulled back when Roger pressed himself even closer and slowly starting moving his hips against John’s, making his breath hitch in his throat. He blinked heavily trying to catch his breath.

Roger chased John’s lips when he pulled away and blinked up at him through his beautifully long lashes, uncertainty flashing through his eyes. “Why’d you stop?”

John wasn’t really sure himself, he wanted to take away the uncertainty that Roger felt. And in a way his own insecurity that this wasn’t all just a dream. But he also felt like he was taking advantage of Roger’s vulnerability. He had only just woken up from what sounded like a terrible nightmare, which somehow involved John. He glanced at Roger again, his lips were red and swollen. He looked as beautiful as ever. “I— I’m not sure?” Was all he could manage to think off.

Roger grinned and buried his face in his neck, letting out a soft sigh, the warm breath on his skin made John shiver. When he looked up at John again there was a blush covering his cheeks. He hesitated before speaking, fiddling with the collar of John’s shirt. “I— I like you John.”

“I like you too.” John said as if that was obvious. Despite his everlasting crush on Roger, he was still his best friend. He liked everything about Roger, to the last hair on his head. 

Roger shook his head and his expression changed, determination in his eyes. This was the Roger he knew, fiery and confident. “Not like that, I _like_ like you.”

“You like me?” John repeated feeling stunned, trying to make sense off exactly what Roger was telling him. His cheeks felt very hot all of a sudden.

This time Roger let out soft laugh, his eyes sparkled, and he trailed a finger down his chest. “I just kissed you— do you kiss all your friends like that?”

John shook his head quickly. “You _like me,_ like me?” He repeated again, mostly for himself because couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Roger smiled at him; almost bashfully. “Do you _like_ like me to?

It felt like they were a couple of teenagers confessing their first crush to each other behind the school building. But John could care less. Roger liked him, Roger had kissed him even, returned his feelings. It was everything he ever dreamed about, but never thought would be real.

“I do.” John nodded. “For a while now.”

Roger smiled wider. He couldn’t help himself and kissed John again, just a peck. “That works out then.”

John couldn’t help but laugh a little with this turn of events. “I guess so.”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you— you know? In my nightmare.” Roger said, looking serious again, a shiver passing through him thinking back on the nightmare.

“You don’t have to talk about it now.” John quickly said when he saw Roger’s pained expression return to his face. He didn’t want Roger to hurt anymore, not now. “We can talk about it tomorrow. Try and get some sleep now.”

Roger nodded and gave John a relieved smile. This time without any hesitation he kissed John again, soft and sweet. A brush of lips was all it was, but John had to hold on to Roger to keep himself grounded.

His heart felt so full, but when Roger rubbed his cheek against his shirt and snuggled closer to him, he was sure he was going to melt. John held him tightly and Roger sighed in contentment. “Good night John.”

“Good night Rog.” John whispered and kissed the top of his head, inhaling the scent of his shampoo. “Sweet dreams.”

Roger hummed softly and he tightened his hold on John and he could have sworn he could feel him smiling. 

***

The next day was a Saturday, John woke up slowly. They didn’t need to go anywhere and the thought of getting up wasn’t a pleasant one. He could stay in bed forever, it was warm, and he turned to find Roger’s body next to him. Who hummed softly when John wrapped his arm around his waist to pull him in closer. Roger stirred only a little and hummed again when John pressed a kiss against the back of his neck.

He stayed there for another long moment until he got the idea of making breakfast for the two of them. Roger was still in deep sleep which he desperately needed after last night. It took all of John’s willpower to finally let go of Roger and the warmth that had become so familiar to him. Roger mumbled softly when John carefully slipped out of the bed trying not to wake him up.

Tiptoeing out of Roger’s room, first to his own room to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt and then to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he was done, he eased his way into the kitchen, starting on breakfast. He was happy he had gotten groceries yesterday, so he had everything he needed to make pancakes, which he knew Roger loved. He certainly begged John enough for them.

He was only halfway finished when Roger turned up in the kitchen, sleepy eyed and hair sticking out in every direction. “Something smells good.”

John turned his head and smiled at the sight of Roger. “Thought I make us breakfast.”

Roger leaned against the kitchen counter, his chin resting on his elbows. “Pancakes.” He smiled cheekily. “I’d say someone is trying to woo me?”

John quirked up an eyebrow. “Thought I already did that?” He teased looking back at what he was doing before he burned the pancake.

Roger smiled and walked over. He wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, turning his head to place a kiss against his neck. “You did. You are only winning more points by making me breakfast, I’m thinking I need to do something in return.” He murmured.

“…Oh? Well I’m intrigued.” John grinned.

“Hmm, oh yeah?” Roger asked and kissed his neck again.

“Mhm.” John hummed. He could get used to this. He tried to focus on finishing the pancakes so they could have breakfast.

It seemed that Roger had different plans, John let out a surprised squeak when Roger’s hand moved down his sweatpants making him nearly knock over the entire bowl of pancake batter. “Roger!” He quickly turned around to face Roger who was smiling at him innocently.

“What?” Roger asked pecking his lips, pulling John closer. “I said I was going to do something in return.”

John shook his head, he swallowed harshly, trying not to let his thoughts wander. Roger kissed him again, licking into his mouth and John’s brain turned to goo. His hands automatically grabbed Roger’s hips, pulling him into him. The needy moan Roger let out went straight to his groin which had become interested very quickly.

Any thought of anything else happening was short lived when the smell of something burning invaded John’s nose. He pulled away breathing heavily, ignoring Roger’s protests and grabbed the pan off the hob, seeing a blackened; what used to be a pancake smoking in the pan.

“Well that’s ruined.” John said opening the bin and tossing the burned pancake in there. He was relieved that he had already made enough before Roger woke up.

Roger grinned. “Whoops? My fault?”

“Yes!” John said with a laugh. “Your fault— you and your kisses and those wandering hands of yours!”

Roger wiggled his eyebrows. “You didn’t seem too much just a minute ago.”

John rolled his eyes and took two plates out one of the cupboards. “Yeah well you’re distracting.” He said while he divided the pancakes that survived on to two plates. He glanced at Roger. “Now sit, before this turns cold.”

Roger stuck out his tongue. “Yes sir.”

Ignoring Roger for now John then searched through the other cupboards to see if they had any syrup left. Which he found somewhere in the back. He put the pancakes in front of himself and Roger and before he could sit down Roger leaned in over the table to kiss his cheek. “You’re sweet.”

John flushed a deep shade of pink. “I— it’s nothing, now eat.”

Roger just smiled and started eating, moaning softly when he took the first bite. “I think I’m going to keep you.”

***

The day had gone fast and John had fallen asleep after dinner, the last two weeks had exhausted him. He and Roger had been watching the telly, well Roger had been watching and giving John commentary about what was happening in the show he had been following. He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep on Roger’s shoulder. When he slowly woke up, he felt someone petting his hair. He blinked up and saw Roger smiling down on him.

“Hey sleepy head.”

“Hi.” John said smiling back, rubbing his eyes. It was dark now and the television was still on, but Roger was only looking at him.

Before he could raise his head from Roger’s lap Roger ducked his head to place a single kiss on his lips. John placed his hand on the back of his neck to make him stay there for a little longer making Roger smile against his lips.

When he raised his head again John started to move as well. “What time is it?”

“Almost midnight.” Roger said stretching his legs in front of him.

“What? why didn’t you wake me up?” He had been sleeping for several hours.

Roger shrugged. “You were sleeping so peacefully; I didn’t want to bother you— besides you looked so tired tonight.”

That was true, he couldn’t keep his eyes open even if he tried. John nodded. “Yeah I guess so.”

“Also, we didn’t talk about last night.” Roger said almost nervously. “I— I feel like we need to.”

John straightened a little more and looked at Roger who had started plucking at the sleeve of his sweater. “Yeah, I think so.” He had been giving Roger the time to come to him by himself. He didn’t want to press him about why he was having nightmares.

Roger took a deep breath and sat crossed legged on the sofa, facing John. “My nightmare last night— all my nightmares recently, they involved you.” He explained.

“Me?” John asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Yes.” Roger nodded. “At first they were just dreams. Happy ones. But at some point, they changed.” He said avoiding John’s eyes. “I think they changed because my feelings for you changed. I realised I had actual feelings for you, that they were more than just friendship.”

John nodded, trying to let Roger get out what he needed to get out. “Okay.”

“When I realized that, that was the moment my nightmares began. My nightmares started to revolve around that, around you and me confessing my feelings. Every time I tried to tell you, you turned me down and left me. Moved out of the flat and didn’t want to do anything with me.” Roger said looking up at John again, his eyes gleaming with tears.

“Roger… I would never…” John said gently, and he took his hand in his. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Roger swallowed. “I know that now— but my nightmares John, they felt so real, so vivid– and I didn’t want to lose you— I was afraid you might hate me.” He said rubbing his eyes were tears had spilled anyway. “So, I didn’t say anything, because I would rather have you as a friend than not having you in my life at all. My nightmare last night— I couldn’t keep it in anymore, something terrible happened to you and I didn’t get the change to tell you how I felt about you, so I just had to, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I hadn’t.”

John couldn’t help it and pulled Roger into a tight hug; he would hold him for as long as he needed. “I’m so sorry, Rog.”

Roger wrapped his arms around John and fisted his hands in John’s shirt. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” His voice muffled against John’s shoulder. “You helped me through it a lot.” He continued when he looked up again, putting some distance between them again. “You were so patient; letting me sleep in your bed, staying with me— I couldn’t have asked for a better friend John.”

“Anyone would have done the same.” John said, not used to getting that much praise.

“No— not everyone would.” Roger said shaking his head. “I wish I had been honest with you before; I could have avoided all of this.”

John rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I— I could have been honest with you too; everything could have been avoided. If I wasn’t so selfish.”

Roger tilted his head in curiosity. “What are you saying?”

John bit his bottom lip, running a hand through his hair before looking at Roger again. He took a deep breath before finally saying. “I’ve been having feelings for you for a while now and I should have said something sooner, you might not even have gotten any nightmares at all.”

“How long?” Roger wondered.

“I— uhm, at least a year?” he said barely above a whisper.

Roger was silent, letting it sink in for a moment and then started laughing. John eyes widened in surprise, but relief washed over him when Roger closed the distance between them and kissed him, their mouths moving against each other in sync, soft and sweet. Roger pulled back only to press several soft kisses against his lips. “You’re lucky I like you so much.”

“You do?” John asked his cheeks heating up. He didn’t think he would get tired of hearing him say that. 

Roger nodded smiling brightly, brushing his thumb softly against John’s cheek. “Yes, very much.” He then turned off the tv and stood up holding out his hand for John to take.

John took it and let Roger pull him up to his feet. “Where are we going?”

“Bed.” Roger simply said grinning over his shoulder as he pulled John with him in the direction of the bedrooms.

“Yours or mine?”

“Does it really matter?”

John laughed and shook his head. “No, I suppose it doesn’t.”

Then he was being pushed against Roger’s bedroom door, Roger’s lips caught his in a needy kiss that blew his mind and made his toes curl. He tangled his fingers in Roger’s hair, pulling slightly. Smiling when he got the desired effect when Roger mewled softly. John gasped when Roger gently pulled on his bottom lip with his teeth before licking into his mouth again. He looked pleased when John chased his lips as he pulled away. 

“You better not think you’ll be getting much sleep tonight.” Roger said as he fumbled with the doorknob, pushing John inside, closing his door with his foot. Pushing him in the direction of the bed.

“Oh, well I think I’m quite used to it by now.” John said with a cheeky smile. “I’m sure I can handle it.”

“I’m counting on that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. <3 I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think!


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